Monday, April 15, 2013

Déjà vu

-->
Recall the last time when this happened; you are sitting in a room chatting with someone or just doing something and all of a sudden there is a flash in your brain and you say to yourself , ‘hey wait a min I was here before doing exactly the same thing ’ or ‘I had the same exact conversation before’. But you cannot remember when did this happen before. You think there is no way I could have lived this moment before! ‘But it feels like I have!’ Then you remember you had a dream about living this moment before. ‘How could I have a dream of living this moment exactly as it is before it really happened? Wow! Déjà vu!’
It is amazing enough to know how our brain interpolates data, perceives things, feels emotions, dreams and synchronizes with organs. Irrespective of all those, Déjà vu, for me, tops the chart for the most amazing thing that the brain does. Scientists although baffled at how this happens theorize that it’s an anomaly of memory. But the fact that events stored into memory before the conscious part of the brain even receives the information and processes it1 is simply hard to digest.
Consider déjà vu may be a form of familiarity-based recognition1 (recognition that is based on a feeling of familiarity with a situation). For a feeling of familiarity to exist there should be a situation that has happened to compare with the current one. Is it possible that sometimes the brain fails to comprehend a particular situation as a fresh situation and falsely signals to indicate that the situation has actually occurred before? If this is true, here is a thought to ponder on. Consider if you can have a déjà vu deliberately. Now when you are learning something new you have a déjà vu. The brain says to you that I have already learnt this before but actually you are learning it for the first time. The brain will have a strong memory of have learnt this next time in the future. Won’t this make easier for kids to learn difficult quickly?
The extent and frequency of déjà vu a person can have varies from person to person. Since it’s a fact people do have déjà vu, it’s not hard to believe some people may have more of it and some less. But we almost always bother less about this amazing phenomenon. A self analysis of what kinds of déjà vu you have can go a long way in getting to know yourself better. You may not solve the mysteries of the brain by doing so but you may get closer to knowing the most mysterious you better.
References
Related articles

Yet another cry of ‘country is going down the drains’

A very happy new year to all! It’s the year 2011.As the celebration and vacations come to an end I find nothing to cheer or look up to in the New Year on reading India News. Newspapers are abundant with scams, corrupt ministers, murder and rape. Although our very very special Laxman did restore pride to level the series with SA and we can hope from Tendlya and Gambhir to help win the series. A tiny shimmer of joy and hope amidst the ghastly start to the New Year!

I take this opportunity to express my disgust, anger and frustration on an agency that I relied on as a child quite naively as honest protectors of India. It never had power of governance but I felt assured that when it came into picture it could definitely keep a check on the governors. I was so wrong. In the New Year this agency has lived up to its reputation.

I am talking about the Central Bureau of Investigation. I guess I am not the only one who thinks, ‘How is it possible that an agency like CBI says that we have to close the Arushi Murder case as we have no evidence and no eye witness? ’ The top most investigative agency of India cannot solve a murder case? A case just 2 years old by now! How can the CBI give up so easily? Another story that made news in this new year was about the Bofors case. An embarrassing income tax revelation for CBI contradicting it on the Bofors case came forth.

Wise men have said in the past that CBI has always been a tool of the ruling government for mending and bending rules. It has been often criticized by media, opposition and the Supreme Court for corruption, haste, mishandling of evidence etc. Charges of corruption, favoritism and failure to produce evidence are all our generation has heard from the CBI.

The wise guy now-a-days is Wikipedia. The CBI wiki page is half filled with the controversies it has been in(not investigated) right from Bhopal gas tragedy, hawala, Dawood case, bofors to nithari. (If anyone was wondering still what happened to Moninder Pandher from the Nithari episode; he has been acquitted on account of lack of evidence). Moreover what is even more disheartening is there isn’t a single success story of CBI on that page.

The result and final verdict of these cases is not what I have problem with. Whether Arushi’s father or Moninder Pandher were guilty or not is for the court to decide. But the court can decide only on the evidence that the investigative agencies can gather and present. Our blindfolded lady of justice still weighs whatever the investigative agencies provide; facts, speculations, possible suspects, huge reports and no evidence. She still dispenses justice.

My romanticism for a state of the art CBI team (probably picked up from watching CID) cracking down on crime has long been lost. All I know is, I may not ever know what really happened in any of the scams. There is no reason I should feel bad about this too as even the chief investigating agency of our country is as much in darkness as I am. So in this new year I look forward with high hopes and abated breath to the result of 2G scam investigation and assure myself ‘sab kuch theek hai, CBI investigate kar rahi hai…..’

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Me and My Loneliness, often talk

It was a pleasant Sunday evening in Chicago. The weather was forgiving enough to enjoy a cup of tea outside without having to wear extra layers of sweaters. The sun was setting amongst a variety of clouds in the west and the sun rays leaving the glass windows of skyscrapers a gleaming golden color. The soft undulations of the river, a gentle cool breeze and add to it some good old melodious Hindi songs. It was a perfect moment.

Alone as I stood enjoying the moment one thought led to another and I was amazed by a thought that no matter how many people you may be surrounded with friends,loved ones, relatives etc, there will always be moments you will be enjoying wishing if only you could share your state of mind with someone. But you cannot lend your eyes, your feelings to someone to share those moments exactly as you are experiencing it.

And that is the background behind my shot at poetry, which opens with the famous hindi song lines. (Thought they added the extra punch!)


I and My Loneliness, often talk
Useful, non-useful, essential or not
We talk truth, fact even crap of all sort
Me and my Loneliness often talk

Loneliness can be creative, imaginative and smart
Yet sometimes plain stupid, dull and drab
At his worst can be destructive, dangerous and sad
Despite his moods and nuances, Me and my loneliness often talk

When we talk, I am unaware where to we walk
He may take me to light and happiness or sorrow and dark
I don’t know how but I lose a lot of myself, when we are far apart
Yet no matter how much I try he’s always back; me and my Loneliness often talk

As moody as his behavior so is his sight
He may leave me be alone or sit besides me in a crowd
Should I call him a friend or foe or my reflection of some sort
Even this we discussed today as me and my Loneliness often talk

I may thank him for his useful insights
Or I may yell at him for his bad advice
I may cherish his company or want to kill him at sight
But as long as I exist, me and my loneliness will always talk.



Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Collage of thoughts from MNIK review

Sitting at work and as usual getting bored, I was browsing through web pages. A Friday afternoon at work means looking at time till it shows 5 or finding something else better to do. I chose the latter. It started with finding movies to watch over the weekend and somehow I ended up reading My Name is Khan reviews. I had seen the movie before and wanted to see what people in US think of all the hype that this movie has. Much has been said about this movie and I don’t intend to add to it. Although I came across a review in New York Times and my day unexpectedly got interesting. Not because of the review but the comments below. Here is the link to it.
http://movies.nytimes.com/2010/02/13/movies/13name.html?partner=Rotten%20Tomatoes&ei=5083
The comments were a really interesting read and indicative of the fact that different people can have dangerously conflicting opinion on a particular issue.

There were lot of comments which can be seen in this form or the other popping up in many sources of media. They are thus categorized.

Bollywood and Hollywood Comparison:
Bollywood always makes flamboyantly colorful movies, different from mainstream Hollywood movies.
-comments generally from people not from India
Bollywood movies are for no brainers unlike Hollywood movies. - From Indians generally
(Although I feel a lot of Hollywood movies are no brainers too.)
One notable comment in this regard goes;
In so many Hollywood movies, including casts like Dicaprio, Brad Pitt or Matt Damon, the east, the africa and so many 'foreign' places are portrayed to adjust the taste of American audiance, which in many cases are hilarious and often derogatory
dgsubhajit , Austin, TX

Every time there is a Hindi movie released when people say it’s an intelligent or not a no brainer movie, there will be others who will all of a sudden become scientists and engineers to find technical faults in the movie. (Like in this one; all roads seem to lead through the Joshua Tree National Park or how did he reach Wilhelmina walking through floods or; from San Francisco to DC, why was he in Georgia? etc)

The Religious Debate:
Between people there will always be two opinions (both conflicting each other in a way) when there is a movie (or anything) talking solely about Islam. One set of people supporting the movie saying that it was a good reflection of Islam, which is seldom seen in media these days. Then there is another set of people who say: we live in a muslin appeasing world. Why try to build ‘Muslims victimized’ image? Why concentrate on woes of Muslims in minority and not those of other religions in Muslim majority etc. This is true the other way too. Misguided hatred or anguish always sparks fights. A lot of fights, rude conversations, rant and should I say “gaali-galoch” happens when a sensitive issue is posted as a video or news item or blog on the internet. If you check YouTube, even non-related videos get comments which spark of these worthless fights. In the comment lines all you see is people swearing at each other!
Do we really need all this?

Islam and Terrorism correlation:
Again a sensitive issue, this one debated worldwide. One group against the branding of all Muslims as terrorists saying terrorism has no religion. The other set of people arguing that Muslims are not terrorists but vast majority of terrorists are Muslims and so on and on and on….

Love:
When people have conflicting opinion it can prove to be very dangerous to them and others. All diatribe will cause is hatred and pain. I guess that is why the comment that really made my day was the one below
“My Name is Khan” is a hero fantasy. The hero takes the biggest risk that any human being can take: he risks love. As a true hero, he pays the price for love, and he loves anyway. Finally, I was forced to ask myself, what is so fantastic about love?

My wife told me that taking her to this movie on Valentine's day was the most romantic Valentine of her life. And my wife does not lie to me.
– JimB from NC , charlotte, NC

And by the way, I liked the movie. :)

Monday, January 04, 2010

Of prejudice, perceived truth and truth

Once there was an old man walking down the sidewalk of his neighborhood. The old man loved the walk on that part of his usually calm and quiet neighborhood. The road beside the sidewalk saw virtually no traffic, and very little vehicular noise if at all a vehicle did visit the road. There were tall buildings on one side and trees along the sidewalk on the other side of the road. The fresh air and the calm and quiet comforted the old man. It was early evening and the sun had just set. The old man came across an intersection and he said to himself in another five minutes I will be home.

Right then he saw a young boy on a scooter coming from the other side of the road. Behind the young boy there was a relatively obese man racing towards him on a motorcycle. Very soon the obese man reached up to the young boy. The old man felt that the obese man’s face looked like a goon’s and he started walking cautiously. The obese man raced in front of the young boy and stopped his motorcycle. Standing in the middle of the road he signaled the young boy to stop his scooter too.

The young boy looked as if he knew something was going to happen, and with a gulp down his throat he yielded to the obese man’s request. As soon as the boy stopped his vehicle, the obese man came up to him and slapped him on his face. He slapped the boy so hard that his eyes started watering. Looking at this the old man was startled and then scared. He did not want to know why this man slapped the boy, he just wanted to go pass them and reach home. However he could not stop staring at them either as he walked passed them. As the boy recovered from the momentary shock, he looked around to see any passersby who saw that incident but all his eyes saw were, an old man trying to whisk away along the sidewalk. His paining cheek made his right hand cover his cheek and he glanced in anguish towards the obese man his eyes completely wet by now. But before the boy could say anything, the obese man started yelling at the top of his voice.

“You idiot! I was at some speed when you turned left back there. Couldn’t you give an indicator light before turning? My motorcycle just kissed your scooter. Good that I controlled my motorcycle, otherwise… There was a speeding car behind me you know that! ” As the old man heard that, he felt a little at ease. His pace of walking slowed down, eyes till glued to both of them. The obese man, furious now at the remembrance of the previous incidence, had raised his hand again. His face this time more stern than before. The boy still sitting on his scooter ducked back with his left hand in the air to obstruct his offender and his right hand still on his cheek. The boy even more scared now slowly murmured, “I did give a signal by hand”. The old man stopped and stood still watching what was going on.

The obese man felt a shadow watching him to his left. He turned a little to see the old man and he lowered his raised hand but still yelling at the boy said, “The street lights were out. You think that I could see your flimsy little hand in the dark” He backed out a little while saying so and continued, “When I noticed you had slowed down it was too late I was right behind you” By this time he was walking towards his motorcycle. “Good that I maneuvered my motorcycle to the left immediately or else…. ”. The boy mustered some courage to speak louder judging the toned down aggression of the obese man. He said, “I am so sorry sir. My indicator lights are not working. I felt the two vehicles brisk each other but as I completed the turn I saw everything was alright in my rear view mirror so I continued. I am very sorry.”

“Sorry! What sorry!”, the man continuing his yelling, “Boy, your sorry wouldn’t matter if anything had happened… Driving without indicator lights is not my problem”. Saying this he hopped on his motorcycle. His anger had receded a little by now. He started his motorcycle and said “What do you think I have extraordinary eyes to see your flimsy little hand in the dark!” The boy judged that the man was about to go away; he stretched out his left hand and said “I am very sorry. Extremely sorry.” The man turned his motorcycle and went away saying “I came two blocks out of my way behind you. You are lucky there was no damage done to my motorcycle….” The young boy glanced at the old man, tears rolling down his eyes now. He started his scooter with Self pity, and drove away with shame and anger in his eyes.

The old man started walking back home thinking what had just happened. “Even if the boy was at fault hitting him so hard was not good. The man looked a dangerous man. A sane man would not hit a boy so hard! He does not look from around this neighborhood, but I think I recognize the boy. May be I have seen him here before. Poor boy had tears in his eyes, his cheek had turned red. Such a hefty man hitting such a young boy isn’t correct…. But nowadays these young boys also drive so rash someone needs to check them……Oh! I better get going….”

The young boy driving back home was trying to hide the humiliation in his face, the tears in his eyes. He said to himself, “Aaaargh! How could, that big fat man hit me! In the middle of the street! And I couldn’t do anything just because my indicator lights were not working…. Dad had warned me not to take the scooter out .Is this God’s way of punishing me because I took the scooter without asking dad? Stop crying now. Make sure you get home before dad reaches home. It feels like someone just stripped me of my dignity. Just get home before dad starts round two. How could he do that!!! ……….. ”

The obese man as he drove farther from the intersection regained his rationale. He said to himself “What had happened to me! I followed the boy two blocks out of my way like I was hunting him down or something. The boy did indicate by hand but it wasn’t visible in the dark until I was too close to him. The poor boy got afraid and continued. But I went all the way behind him and slapped him! Just because I was laid off from my company! Life isn’t fair. Ten years of faithful service and they fire me because of bad economy! What will I do now? I have a family to feed. How will I face my son? Would I hit my son like this too as I hit that boy? Life is harsh. If you don’t take care of your indicator lights you can die. The boy should learn this. The boy was terrified back there. He was almost the age of my son. He really didn’t do anything wrong. After all I was the one speeding at the intersection too. I could have checked my speed way before too. It was an intersection after all. Shouldn’t you be careful especially if the traffic signal at the intersection isn’t working and it’s dark? ” He sighed and said, “I shouldn’t have done that.”



Happy New Year 2010. :)

Thursday, October 08, 2009

MS in US: A Year Later

This is the continuation to my previous blog: Buckling up for MS-The Story so far.
To recap the blog a fresh MS aspirant after lot of efforts and hardship (physical and mental) landed in US and now the story continues.

Surprisingly even though US is a huge landmass and depending on where you land the experience may differ but everyone still shares a similar journey. Let me play Dumbledore and pull out the some thoughts off of an MS aspirant in US for the first time. (These thoughts transcend gender bias)


  • How come every car is behind the other in a single line? These guys seem to be really disciplined drivers.
  • Almost all roads are like highways!
  • Black or Nigger is taboo. Use African American
  • Anyone who walks by me greets me!
  • Remember the wolf from looney toons cartoons with jaws open and tongue rolled out and eyes popping out watching the seducing dancer come on stage?: girls and their attire
  • After getting over jet lag all there has been is look for assistantship, look for part-time job, look for apartment, and look for roommates….hufff….
  • Some Americans are really very fat! No wonder they are the biggest consumers, literally.
  • African Americans –babbans, Mexicans- makhlu, chinese or Japanese – chinki White Americans – amru, gore; American born confused desis(ABCD) ….
  • Need to improve my culinary skills, food is expensive here!
  • Better get used to western toilets quickly. Tissue please
  • Can’t have a mobile unless I have SSN….
  • Thank God there is laptop in this world. What would I do without one!
  • Z is not pronounced zed but zee!
  • It’s a law to mow the lawn in front of the house and keep it clean!
  • Coin operated laundry: Hate the dryer, shrinks all my clothes
  • People pick their pet dog’s poop with tissue and throw it in the dustbin!!!!!!
  • Coffee to go or food to go sounds so much cooler than pack the coffee or pack the food.
  • At least 15% tip in restaurants, barber’s shop, and cab! Money hungry thugs!
  • What??? If more than 4-5 people go to a restaurant 15% tip is compulsory!!! It can be seen in the bill as gratuity!!! Insane…
  • American food: So bland…
  • McDonalds is not the same as it was back home :(
  • Finished a subway footlong! Never thought I could eat this much!
  • Honking is considered rude!
  • The streets are so empty…
  • Only a handful of national holidays…
  • Driving: Aarrgh ! I hate the discipline…
  • Oops I am driving on the left lane, I missed a stop sign. What!!!Now I have to yield for vehicles before merging into traffic!!! Why can’t I just make a cut and whizz away…
  • There is no signal at a cross road just a stop sign and still the traffic is regulated without a cop controlling it!
  • I want to see exactly how and when does my credit history build… arghh
  • What’s with the thanksgiving shopping craze! Stand in line at night and wait for stores to open in the morning! Sounds interesting! Things people do to get stuff cheap! What the hell its worth all of it!
  • Indian street: Reckless drivers honking, Indian restaurants, groceries, saree shops, pan shop along with Pakistani restaurants and shops. Feels at home.
(Region dependent thoughts)
  • Why aren’t people more excited about first snow?
  • Four to five layers of clothing every day, it’s so irritating.
  • I don’t want to go out for groceries I just came from outside… Again put on all that clothing … arghhh
  • Enough with the snow already, its been four months now. No wonder people were so excited with first snow!
  • Temperature today is >0 deg C: Yay! It’s a beautiful day (Now I know what this phrase actually means!)

  • Got a mail from someone asking me to evaluate his chances in my university…he he I was in that place a year ago…. I better reply quick as I know how anxious aspirants can be since I was one.
  • Forgot to reply, somehow got busy, can’t even find that mail now…. And I was thinking the senior who did not reply to me a year back was a jerk… but I guess it happens. :P
  • A new batch of students joining…it’s amazing how I am a senior to them even though some of them are elder to me by age, by experience….. I guess it’s because I have one year US experience. :P
  • Better start preparing for full time job interviews/internships…..
  • One year done and I hope more to come…..


These were some thoughts roughly summing up the experience of living in US for a year. Dumbledore is tired now. But feel free to dig in to the magic pot and pull out some more thoughts….

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Old Memories

Someone knows

Amidst rocks in dry weather grows a flower
how will it grow? how will it survive?
But alone is not the flower; someone knows;
With tender care, He will look after the flower

Sorrows in our life make us helpless
But someone full of life knows and comes to help us

The dumb cant speak their plight out
Who will take care of them?
But worry not; Someone knows;
He will lend his ear to their speechless mouth

Worries, suffering disease; all of them we suffer
But some one knows about our pain
Alone we are not in this world,
Someone takes care of us, someone knows....




Among giants

Walking through a crowd holding,
her mother's hand
on street among giants

A little girl I saw
lifting her head to see faces
making an effort to do so

She said (I assumed) - What a world this is !
With such big giants walking on streets,
Lucky to me I have my hands firmly held to mother,
On such a crowded street among giants....

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Life of E

I met him long back, maybe when I was in high school. He was one of those whom you see but never really know much about, moreover never really care too. Somehow I got curious about him and decided to meet him in person. When I got to know about the number ‘e’ I found out he has been around for quite a while. The world has been cruel to many constants. All this while he had been doing his job and helping others without getting due credit for. So I decided to write his story for everyone to read. Here goes…

Man started counting and came up with decimal numbers to count. Soon followed a flurry of numbers rational irrational real even complex. But E remained hidden for a long time. A lot of people like John Napier and Huygens came close to discovering this gem of a number but it wasn’t until Jacob Bernoulli that the world got a first glimpse of the number. Bernoulli was trying to find the value of

This is the exact number e. However Bernoulli used binomial theorem to find out the value being between 2 and 3. But that’s it. So the credit to discover e can only be given to Euler. It was Euler who named the number as e. (I could see a sparkle in the eye of e when he talked of Euler.) Euler gave an approximation for e to 18 decimal places,
e = 2.718281828459045235.
It was Euler who pointed out the connection between sine and cosine functions and e. E always knew he was different but Euler brought out his usefulness in front of the world. May be that is why he proudly calls himself Eular’s number.
Unlike E, pi and phi have their perpetual share of glamour. Pi is still a craze with mathematicians. The recent accolade phi has got because of its closeness with nature its even being called the divine proportion or the golden number. Enthusiasts have tried to link phi with every known wonder to man. People have pi clubs, phi discussions; both have thousands of books….. When I queried him about this he was totally unperturbed. Modest as he is, he always somehow keeps away from the news I feel the world has been unfair with a lot of constants like E.
I had the honour of going through his resume. I was completely over whelmed. E being an irrational number is also transcendental i.e. he is not a root of any polynomial with integer coefficients. ( refer article 1: refer article 2)
It’s like a saintly quality for a number. Ever wondered why

Well the slope of the curve e^x is equal to the value of the curve at that point. e^x has a curve like no other number. E being uniquely and exceptionally curvy maybe explains the apathy of women towards him! This rather unique characteristic of e represents the idea that all continually growing systems are scaled versions of a common rate. Needless to point out which is this common rate. e shows up whenever systems grow exponentially and continuously: population, radioactive decay, interest calculations, and more.


There is a reason why logarithm to the base e is called a natural logarithm. e is the unique number with the property that the area of the region bounded by the hyperbola y = 1/x,the x-axis, and the vertical lines x=1 and x=e is 1.In other words,

He is the only number when considered as the base, the logarithm can be defined as expansion in Taylor series, i.e.



The word ‘exponential’ comes from him. E is the gateway that connects imaginary numbers to cosines and sine’s, the logarithm gets a new meaning from e. E is very adjustable too, he can be expressed as a Taylor series, as a limit of a sequence as an infinite continued fraction or as power series!
After I met e I had a new found respect for the credibility of that guy. There’s is lots that I found about him and there is a lot more for me to find about him. E is the essential part of this world. Engineers, bankers, statisticians and many more cannot do without e. E works on different levels with all of us. Let’s give him his share of support and acknowledgment


More about E

Various forms of E

Facts and Trivia


The story of E: Life of e video

Crazy about e
Thrillers on E
Occurances of E in unusual problems
Properties of Euler numbers


1
2
3

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A Collage or graffiti of stray thoughts


A painting can depict a state of mind. Cant words depict the states of mind?
How do you define mind? I don’t know. Has it got something to do with your thoughts?
Why does your writing always have to be disciplined to form a structure. A stray thought can be penned so why not pen thoughts correlated or uncorrelated.
A work of art portrays the mood of the artist. I want to be an artist, create something may be a collage of thought.
The happiness and satisfaction of creating something is very satiating. Did I use the right word? Well I wanted to use something related satisfying but may be satiating is stuck somewhere very close to it in my memory.
I wonder if the brain works like a RAM. Actually if we knew how we store thoughts we would be able to compress data so efficiently. But we tend to forget things so data retrieval technique of the brain is not the best technique.
Does this forgetfulness bring randomness in my actions and thoughts? Like I did with satiate and satisfy?
Can we explain our actions and feelings from our thoughts? More importantly feelings.
Or does randomness just makes us more human? May be it does. May be things were meant to be with a little randomness. I recall Huygen’s Uncertainty principle here.
A thought also passes my mind whether anyone who reads this will be able to make sense of any of this? Thats why structured writing is important. But hey this is my graffiti. Believe it or not this is art.
Coming back to randomness. Maybe our attempt at making things deterministic is wrong. May be the whole philosophy that everyting perceptible is just maya, is right. May be the world is indeed a sandbox which we can mould as we want.
Imagine the day we start believing this how different the world would be!

And a passing thought tells me herein lies the fallacy of my assumption that a graffiti of thought can be modeled to an art form. But to convey something specific you have to be disciplined.
So does it mean a thing of beauty is anything that is disciplined? What about the good old saying, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder?

………………………………………………. :)

I do realize this can turn into an epic with no end. So I will stop now.
How much sense do we make out of something sensible and how much sense can we make out of something seemingly senseless? Many a times an endeavor to make sense of senseless is more interesting and rewarding than comprehending the sensible.

:)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Buckling up for MS – The story so far (Part 1)

Every six months thousands and thousands apply for MS in the US from India. Well this is their story.

Its not always that the
American dream drives people to MS in US, it may be peer pressure, it may be money, it may be thirst for knowledge, it may be convenience, a matter of heart or redemption; simply anything. You may find a wide ranging reasons, but whatever the reason may be the place to look for abroad is undoubtedly the United States.

The process starts with uncertainty and doubt which lasts throughout. It starts with the preparation of GRE. You come across thousands of words never seen, never heard or never used before nor will ever. It doesn’t even matter how good your English is was is or will be! The uncertainty of which words will be flashed in the exam haunts always. Unless you are a lexicographer no one is sparred from this uncertainty. After dealing with a giant headache a smaller headache pops up in the form of TOEFL, sometimes the more irritating of the two.

Two exams and we are just getting warmed up, now starts the horrendous task of actual application. Each task in this process is a mammoth and no lesser a trouble than the GRE itself.
SOP(Statement of Purpose) : When you take a look at one of these you feel that the person who is reflected could do nothing wrong ever. You could actually visualize an ideal person with enormous aspirations tremendous ideas and ……well almost a saintly person. You feel how can I even get close to being such a person. But eventually you too find out those streaks of sainthood in you and you are done with your SOP : fabricated and perfect!

LOR(Letters of Recommendation): Find three people who will write in a good word for you on your academic standing….well for some even this is a difficult task. Adjectives like ‘the best’ , ‘most promising’, ‘one of the top’ will be abundantly seen in these. Seldom ever are you conferred these prestigious adjectives!

Transcripts: The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness is at its epitome here. You may feel getting an admit at times is easier than getting transcripts in time. But yes it’s a learning experience , you get a real essence of Indian Babudom: the lethargy, the indifference and the apathy.

Financial Documents: All things come at a price and MS is all about the price. All things you do, will do or ever think of is ‘can I afford it?’. The decision of pursuing MS starts and ends here. Gather the finance, get the documents ready and you are set to send your applicaton packets.

What follows is a really long wait. Its is like sowing seeds and waiting for the plant to grow. It literally takes that long. You develop an involuntary muscle which pulls you to open your inbox atleast twice a day to check for replies, admits , rejects. In the meantime you try to lessen your anxiety by getiing a profile analysis, asking seniors, and surveying but in the end none of these really answer your questions. Finally the day of reconing comes in the form of an admit letter and sooner but most probably later the all important I-20 form.

End of story…..? Well no, it has just become interesting. Now you have to take a VISA. A dozen of forms and documents, a long wait at the crowded American counsulate and a highly hyped but a turn down interview. Thats it! Now you are authorized to fly but just not yet. Invariably all universities in the US have an Indian student organization or groups which I must say help enormously in making your transition from one part of the world to the other pretty comfortable. (Hails to all these organizations!!! )You get in touch with these groups or organizations, place your residual queries of how’s , when’s etc before leaving. An important factor is also shopping. It may be fun shopping things you feel will be costlier or unaffordable but more often than not it is funnier when you find out a lot of your shopping was really unnecessary. You might have fun shopping but the joy is short-lived.You may have everything you need but you still need to pack them. The optimization problem that you face of packing ALL your world into 2 or 3 bags with size and weight constraints is one problem even optimization specialists will have to rack their brains on.However with the bags packed, VISA in hand and a few awry emotions you set yourself to enter a new place! The flight takes off and after a long, gruelling and nauseating(depending on the airline company) journey you set foot in a foreign land

Hence forth things are different.This point is like a threshold; analogous to a point described in physics where classical mechanics ends and quantum mechanics begins. Well simply putting it an intermission in the story…..

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Nothing in this world worth having comes easy - Dr Kelso (Scrubs)

The more I think about this line by a character called Dr Kelso from a TV series scrubs, the more I believe it. After each successful task I accomplish I appreciate the beauty of this line. Or the more I believe in it, the more it feels real to me.

Consider anything of great value to you, something which you would absolutely love to possess. What value would it have if you can get it easily. You can get even grocery which is your bare necessity easily without effort. A thing of value should be something you don’t get easily, shouldn’t it? It’s rarity or inaccessibility is what makes it so valuable. The feeling of owning this rare or inaccessible thing of value is what makes the ownership so special. Well I just stated the converse of the title to be true so the statement itself should be true….!!

But let me discuss something which is missing from the above argument: the importance of efforts or hard work. What makes the fruit of ownership sweeter is hard work. The pleasure of owning comes from the sense that you have earned it from your efforts regardless of how much of your efforts actually contributed to the achievement. Sometimes you get the fruit of all the effort you put in and sometimes the fruit you get is not exactly a direct result of your efforts, sometimes you get a fruit from just nothing. However you earn the fruit, you can relish it’s sweetness only when you have worked hard enough to earn it.

Although all the wise men say the same things, fools like me and many others like to learn things the hard way. So no matter which sentence sounds appropriate; ‘karm kar phal ki chinta mat kar’, ‘Hard work pays’, ‘its not the destination but the journey that matters’ or anything else, the gist is ‘nothing in this world worth having comes easy’ :)