Monday, April 15, 2013

Déjà vu

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Recall the last time when this happened; you are sitting in a room chatting with someone or just doing something and all of a sudden there is a flash in your brain and you say to yourself , ‘hey wait a min I was here before doing exactly the same thing ’ or ‘I had the same exact conversation before’. But you cannot remember when did this happen before. You think there is no way I could have lived this moment before! ‘But it feels like I have!’ Then you remember you had a dream about living this moment before. ‘How could I have a dream of living this moment exactly as it is before it really happened? Wow! Déjà vu!’
It is amazing enough to know how our brain interpolates data, perceives things, feels emotions, dreams and synchronizes with organs. Irrespective of all those, Déjà vu, for me, tops the chart for the most amazing thing that the brain does. Scientists although baffled at how this happens theorize that it’s an anomaly of memory. But the fact that events stored into memory before the conscious part of the brain even receives the information and processes it1 is simply hard to digest.
Consider déjà vu may be a form of familiarity-based recognition1 (recognition that is based on a feeling of familiarity with a situation). For a feeling of familiarity to exist there should be a situation that has happened to compare with the current one. Is it possible that sometimes the brain fails to comprehend a particular situation as a fresh situation and falsely signals to indicate that the situation has actually occurred before? If this is true, here is a thought to ponder on. Consider if you can have a déjà vu deliberately. Now when you are learning something new you have a déjà vu. The brain says to you that I have already learnt this before but actually you are learning it for the first time. The brain will have a strong memory of have learnt this next time in the future. Won’t this make easier for kids to learn difficult quickly?
The extent and frequency of déjà vu a person can have varies from person to person. Since it’s a fact people do have déjà vu, it’s not hard to believe some people may have more of it and some less. But we almost always bother less about this amazing phenomenon. A self analysis of what kinds of déjà vu you have can go a long way in getting to know yourself better. You may not solve the mysteries of the brain by doing so but you may get closer to knowing the most mysterious you better.
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Yet another cry of ‘country is going down the drains’

A very happy new year to all! It’s the year 2011.As the celebration and vacations come to an end I find nothing to cheer or look up to in the New Year on reading India News. Newspapers are abundant with scams, corrupt ministers, murder and rape. Although our very very special Laxman did restore pride to level the series with SA and we can hope from Tendlya and Gambhir to help win the series. A tiny shimmer of joy and hope amidst the ghastly start to the New Year!

I take this opportunity to express my disgust, anger and frustration on an agency that I relied on as a child quite naively as honest protectors of India. It never had power of governance but I felt assured that when it came into picture it could definitely keep a check on the governors. I was so wrong. In the New Year this agency has lived up to its reputation.

I am talking about the Central Bureau of Investigation. I guess I am not the only one who thinks, ‘How is it possible that an agency like CBI says that we have to close the Arushi Murder case as we have no evidence and no eye witness? ’ The top most investigative agency of India cannot solve a murder case? A case just 2 years old by now! How can the CBI give up so easily? Another story that made news in this new year was about the Bofors case. An embarrassing income tax revelation for CBI contradicting it on the Bofors case came forth.

Wise men have said in the past that CBI has always been a tool of the ruling government for mending and bending rules. It has been often criticized by media, opposition and the Supreme Court for corruption, haste, mishandling of evidence etc. Charges of corruption, favoritism and failure to produce evidence are all our generation has heard from the CBI.

The wise guy now-a-days is Wikipedia. The CBI wiki page is half filled with the controversies it has been in(not investigated) right from Bhopal gas tragedy, hawala, Dawood case, bofors to nithari. (If anyone was wondering still what happened to Moninder Pandher from the Nithari episode; he has been acquitted on account of lack of evidence). Moreover what is even more disheartening is there isn’t a single success story of CBI on that page.

The result and final verdict of these cases is not what I have problem with. Whether Arushi’s father or Moninder Pandher were guilty or not is for the court to decide. But the court can decide only on the evidence that the investigative agencies can gather and present. Our blindfolded lady of justice still weighs whatever the investigative agencies provide; facts, speculations, possible suspects, huge reports and no evidence. She still dispenses justice.

My romanticism for a state of the art CBI team (probably picked up from watching CID) cracking down on crime has long been lost. All I know is, I may not ever know what really happened in any of the scams. There is no reason I should feel bad about this too as even the chief investigating agency of our country is as much in darkness as I am. So in this new year I look forward with high hopes and abated breath to the result of 2G scam investigation and assure myself ‘sab kuch theek hai, CBI investigate kar rahi hai…..’

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Me and My Loneliness, often talk

It was a pleasant Sunday evening in Chicago. The weather was forgiving enough to enjoy a cup of tea outside without having to wear extra layers of sweaters. The sun was setting amongst a variety of clouds in the west and the sun rays leaving the glass windows of skyscrapers a gleaming golden color. The soft undulations of the river, a gentle cool breeze and add to it some good old melodious Hindi songs. It was a perfect moment.

Alone as I stood enjoying the moment one thought led to another and I was amazed by a thought that no matter how many people you may be surrounded with friends,loved ones, relatives etc, there will always be moments you will be enjoying wishing if only you could share your state of mind with someone. But you cannot lend your eyes, your feelings to someone to share those moments exactly as you are experiencing it.

And that is the background behind my shot at poetry, which opens with the famous hindi song lines. (Thought they added the extra punch!)


I and My Loneliness, often talk
Useful, non-useful, essential or not
We talk truth, fact even crap of all sort
Me and my Loneliness often talk

Loneliness can be creative, imaginative and smart
Yet sometimes plain stupid, dull and drab
At his worst can be destructive, dangerous and sad
Despite his moods and nuances, Me and my loneliness often talk

When we talk, I am unaware where to we walk
He may take me to light and happiness or sorrow and dark
I don’t know how but I lose a lot of myself, when we are far apart
Yet no matter how much I try he’s always back; me and my Loneliness often talk

As moody as his behavior so is his sight
He may leave me be alone or sit besides me in a crowd
Should I call him a friend or foe or my reflection of some sort
Even this we discussed today as me and my Loneliness often talk

I may thank him for his useful insights
Or I may yell at him for his bad advice
I may cherish his company or want to kill him at sight
But as long as I exist, me and my loneliness will always talk.